What are good team names for fantasy football? How we rank funny team names
This is how we decide what is and what is not a funny fantasy league name – Our ranking system would never hold up to scientific scrutiny, let alone any standards of fairness!
- Names that are fresh, using players or subjects that are topical.
- Pun-heavy preferred – especially those that incorporate more than one player/pun.
- We are happy to have less than perfect rhyming words if it allows for a funnier dream team name.
- Obvious is great, but we have a penchant for the abstract and absurd.
- We avoid any overtly crude, (Giroud;) or rude fantasy football team names (we aim for a ‘Parental Guidance’ rating!)
- We don’t rate anything that we consider racist or homophobic (the Daily Express or Daily Mail will no doubt have a list for this if required!)
5aside.com’s 5th year of listing the top 20 funny fantasy football team names
This may well be the best, most researched, comprehensive and original list of funny fantasy football names ever created. However, after days of little else but name punning in our office, the 5aside.com team has lost all perspective, so we would say that! (seriously, we have been struggling to have normal conversations with people without rhyming their words back at them!)
Creative premier league fantasy football team names: Most are original (swear down)
Our team got pretty nerdy this year, working to create names using perfect rhymes, (extremely!) imperfect rhymes, compounds and wordplay to give you the most comprehensively researched list to choose from. So if you are looking for something a little more creative (and contemporary) than a list of regurgitated dross from ‘The Sun’ you have come to the right place! We’ve added ‘Original’ under each team name we created (we know we’re flexing, but we couldn’t hide our pride!)
The freshest, most relevant list of fantasy premier league names
Our annual last-minute scramble to release the list means that you will be getting the most up to date (late summer EPL transfers can open whole new naming avenues!) and a relevant list of titles to choose from. We make your 1st fantasy team managerial decision of the season that little bit easier. So you know at least you might get a fantasy football league name that no one else has. You might even get a few laughs from it (whether you claim credit for the team name is entirely up to you!)
Covid fantasy football team names: Yes good, funny Coronavirus-based team names are acceptable!
As with everything else, Covid has had a huge impact on our list, with 2 of the top 20 funniest football names of 2021 being Coronavirus related. It’s been a tough time for many, but laughter and laughing at seemingly uncontrollable situations has been the go-to catharsis for generations and our dream team is no different!
(see No.18: ‘ACF Quarantina’ | No.15: ‘Andrea Furlough’)
Covid 2020/21: The strangest season of football ever?
Quite possibly… Cast your minds back to this time in 2019, trying to choose good fantasy football names – Could you have imagined that the 1st match you watched 2020/21 premier league season might have the crowd as a mass of Zoom videos and the crowd noises being generated by EA Sports? (“Its in the game“- Incredibly that year, it really was!)
Despite a few questionable games being played at the start (eg. Liverpool Vs At. Madrid), football has on the whole had a relatively positive impact on people’s lives during the Covid-19 pandemic, adapting to changes quicker than most sports. Despite the lack of crowd, the restart of football was a significant (and very welcome) step for many in the return to normality and routine.
Looking for a funny 5 a side team name?
We should probably mention that we run FA Affiliated 5 a side football leagues across London (apparently, our annual voyage of fantasy naming is justified as marketing!)
State of the (fantasy football) union
Fantasy football is now as much part of the average Premier League (EPL) fan’s consumption of the sport as TV coverage. The last seasons have seen fantasy football being regularly referenced in commentary and punditry across all media. Indeed it has become such a known cultural reference, that it even makes its way into ads for mobile phones. Although as you can tell by the young actress’s delivery of the line “cheers Dad, I’ve switched up my captain” its not a cultural bandwagon that can always be seamlessly jumped on (see below)
2018 EE TV Advert “cheers Dad, I’ve switched up my captain”
When does the Premier League 2021/22 season start? (game week 1 deadline)
The (EPL) Premier League announced it will start on the 13th of August. The Brentford Vs Arsenal opening game is the deadline to choose your football team (and name!). If entering the classic (FPL) Premier Fantasy league format generally game week deadlines are 2 hours before the 1st game of the weekend/game week, so be sure to submit your team in time for the FPL. Of course, if you are entering a draft format you will have already endured the drama of the draft in the days or weeks before Gameweek 1.
Fantasy Premier League (FPL) or Draft Fantasy Football (DFF)?
We are no fortune tellers (if we were we wouldn’t need great fantasy football team names to deflect our poor fantasy football team’s position!), but we can certainly glean some direction on where things are heading by focusing on one trend we have noticed. The last few seasons have seen “Draft Fantasy Football” establish itself as a genuine competitor to the official Premier league fantasy football with many moving to the draft format.
Lots of managers now prefer the structure of draft and compared with from the classic format whereby halfway through the season most teams have the same players. DFF has sometimes struggled to cope with the influx and have looked to new ways of monetising their site to afford more tech to satisfy demand.
What type of fantasy football manager are you?
Manager type A: The innocent bystander
You arrive late to the party, picking your team in week 2 and not looking again until your mate tells you that you still have Rooney (circa 2017/18) in your team and he hasn’t started a game for 3 months?
Manager type B: The bullsh!tter
Are you the kind of manager that uses their wild card in week 3 once the starting line-ups have been established and then claim to have “heard a lot of good things about Mo Salah when he was at Roma” circa 2017/18?
Manager type C: The veteran
Are you a veteran of fantasy football management – Beginning your career in the 90s with “Dream Team” and researching your players on “Championship Manager” (the precursor to “Football Manager“) moving onto Premier league then to DFF? Maybe you have been in the same fantasy premier league with the same friends for many years, therefore, often resulting in the same winners and losers?
Manager type D: The pro
Do you treat your team management as a 2nd job, with hours spent each week researching, planning and executing your game week professionally?
Manager type E: The maverick
Do you see yourself as a managerial maverick – Preferring to take a punt on a player that no-one has considered for a chance of glory when that player becomes the unexpected points machine of the season?
Most of us now support 2 teams, your club and your EPL fantasy football team
This can lead to added confusion watching matches, often ending in a convoluted ethical dilemma – Do I want my team to win or my captain to score?
I know it’s only fantasy football but I like it (♫ …but I like it ♫)
Anyone who has tried explaining fantasy football to someone who doesn’t play will know the vacant look of questioning bemusement: Why on earth would anyone care enough to commit to a whole premier league season of what most people would consider at best revision without reward or at worse unpaid labour! Little do they know that the last-minute Saturday lunchtime changes will make the weekends fixtures that little more engaging. This exciting game can add excitement to games that are seemingly unwatchable, with 0-0 draws becoming a “good day at the office” for your defence.
The best names for the best names: The Cesc factor
Certain players are an absolute gift for funny team name creation – with Timo Werner joining Mané, Salah, Juan Mata, Giroud and Cesc Fabregas as the go-to multi-use, well-known players (Cesc is particularly helpful, providing rhyming puns on his 1st and 2nd name). As you can see our top 20 also has relevant images with some (not so fancy) photoshopping for your viewing pleasure.
Gambling on fantasy football
Ladbrokes 5 a side
In 2020 Ladbrokes released this 5 a side and fantasy football gambling mash-up and proclaimed: “Pick your formation. Select your players. Choose your stats. Build your team. Place your bet. Be the boss” – It’s a relatively innovative concept and they have spent heavily on marketing. This suggests they see it as a nice earner and if they are earning the punter is paying, so we suggest it’s best to keep that in mind!
DFF Lightning Drafts
In 2018 DFF was awarded a licence to host gambling on the platform and launched fantasy football gambling with their “Lightning Drafts” system. Here you compete against other players with your chosen team against theirs and the winner(s) take all. 2021 UPDATE: DFF appear to have lost or dropped their gambling license.
Football betting and gambling: Keep it fun and gamble aware
People have different and justly held views on gambling. We, for instance, find the ad breaks on football programs unhealthily saturated by gambling ads. Also, the problem is “Ray” that not all “Bet365” punters do gamble responsibly and it is made increasingly difficult for them when they are enjoying watching football only to be bombarded by “hard-sell” and sometimes “soft-sell” (wanna be like all these cool guys betting?) at half-time!
If you feel as strongly (as we clearly do!) about this there’s a good article here. However, most people can have a flutter on football without it ruining their lives (and often their families) and just like EPL fantasy football it adds an additional element of interest to their football consumption and we see this trend towards fiction football gambling increasing as the hugely profitable betting companies realise its potential – Mo’ money… mo betting ads! (or as Biggie Smalls like to say “Mo’ money… mo’ problems” – or as we like to say “Mo Mané… Mo Salah problems” [No.2])
If you are worried about your gambling or feel that your gambling is out of control you can find support at https://www.begambleaware.org/
2019 UPDATE: The big betting companies have agreed a voluntary ban on “whistle to whistle” ads (good news everyone!)
The top 20 funny fantasy football team names
This year we have had player puns, manager match-ups, music mash-ups and Covid gags, so making the decision has been even harder than usual. All but a few are from the 5aside.com team and because we are more proud than we probably should be, we have denoted ‘Original’ under each team name we coined. No copyright inferred – whether you claim credit for the name is up to you (sharing this article is enough props for us!)
Disagree with our No. 1? Find the whole list offensive? Find the list not offensive enough?! We can only apologise for our very specific sense of funny. We humbly thank you for joining us on this (hopefully) comedic journey and wish you the best of luck in your 2021/22 fantasy football managerial campaign.
Ps – if you have a decent name, add it to the comments (bottom of page) and it might find its way into our list next year (we will credit you too for some 2022 #HumbleBrag)
The 5aside.com team – September 2021
Dream team names that didn’t quite make the top 20 (A to Z)
- Absolutely Fàbregas
- Anthony Martial Law
- Ate All Depays
- Auto-Matic suspension
- Baines meanz Gabriel Heinze
- Baines on toast
- Bed Azpilicueta
- Bilboa Baggins
- Bite-em & Shove-em Albion
- Bless Capoue
- Boom Xhakalaka
- Bournemouth Identity
- Bournemouth Supremacy
- Cesc and the City
- Cesc on legs
- Cesc on the beach
- Cesc-ie football
- Cesc and the city
- Charlie Austin Powers
- Charlie Austin-tatious chip
- Chiellini Con Carne
- Couldnt score in a Boufal
- Dark Juan Mata
- David Silva lining
- Dawn of the Fred
- Deeney in a Bottle
- Delph and Safety
- Dirty Sanchez
- Doucouré blimey
- Egg Fried Reus
- Earth wind and maguire
- Fàbregas football
- Father and Son Heung-Min
- Fiorentina Turner
- Footballs coming Martin Keown
- For Fuchs Ake
- Friend or Jermaine Defoe
- Fun Lovren criminals
- Gabbia-Troy Deeney
- Game of Stones
- Game of Throw-ins
- Grey Juan Mata
- Gylfi Pleasures
- Hakuna Juan Mata
- Hanging by a Fred
- Hazard warning Ian Wright
- Hazards sleeve
- Huddersfield Clowns
- Iheanacho Monreal men
- In-Sane in the Mem-Baines
- Isco Inferno
- Its raining Mané
- Jason Bournemouth
- Jermaine Zagreb
- Juan Mata of facts
- Juan Mata-rial girls
- Just Matip
- Karius on camping
- Kingdom of Jordan Pickford
- Kissed by Danny Rose on a hill
- Kouyaté ugly
- Krul and the Gang
- Kings of Leon Osman
- Lallanas in pyjamas
- Lifes an Ibrahimovic
- Love Mee Ronaldo
- Man walks into a Pogba
- Manchester Pity
- Mané Sane Mané
- Mané walks into a Pogba
- Mané-chester United
- Men Behaving Chadli
- Moves Like Agger
- Murder on Zidane’s floor
- Nacho Monreal Madrid
- Nerds of Bremen
- Newcastle Dis-United
- No Kane, No gain
- No laughing Juan Mata
- Obi Wan Kenobi Nil
- On the Fred Son Heung-Min
- One Flew Over Lukaku’s Nest
- Pain in the Fàbregas
- Pain in the Niasse
- Pjanic at the disco
- Pedro-ing me Pedro-ing you, Zaha
- Petr Cech Yourself
- Phil Neville wears Prada
- Pique Blinders
- Pique and De Bruyne
- Quickfire Dybala
- Real Modric
- Real Social-dads
- Red Card-iff City
- Rooney Tunes
- Silence of the Lahms
- Show me the Mané
- Snorting Whizbon
- Tea and Busquets
- The Cesc factor
- The Otamendi Empire
- The Tortoise and De Gea
- Tottenham Luke-Warm-Spur
- Two’s Kompany, Three’s Giroud
- Unprotected Cesc
- We set a high Pogba
- When Harry Met Alli
- Who Giroud think you are?
- Willian dollar baby
- Womanchester United
- Who ate all Depays